Ebook The Passion Paradox: Patterns of Love and Power in Intimate Relationships, by Dean C. Delis, Cassandra Phillips
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The Passion Paradox: Patterns of Love and Power in Intimate Relationships, by Dean C. Delis, Cassandra Phillips
Ebook The Passion Paradox: Patterns of Love and Power in Intimate Relationships, by Dean C. Delis, Cassandra Phillips
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Who Gets Caught in the Passion Trap?
It's the catch-22 or romantic relationships: The more deeply one partner falls in love, the more distant the other becomes. This is the passion trap, an emotional dynamic that results in increasing desire and desperation in the "one-down" lover, and dissatisfaction, often mingled with guilt and withdrawal, in the "one-up."
Now, Dr. Dean Delis, a renowned psychologist who believes the passion trap is both common and curable, shows you how to change the patterns that threaten your relationship. Drawing from his counseling work with individuals and couples, he offers fresh insights and powerful, proven techniques—from Trial Closeness to Healthy Distance—to help you and your partner rekindle romance and discover a new equilibrium of love and desire for a lifetime of happiness.
- Sales Rank: #1022715 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Bantam
- Published on: 1990-07-01
- Released on: 1990-07-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.45" h x 1.30" w x 6.50" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 310 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful.
A million times better than "Relationship Rescue"
By Traveler
I just came across this book by accident at a thrift shop. It's unebelievable that it's out of print! This book, in very simple terms, offers an explanation for just about every romantic trouble -- the imbalance between partners. I looked at "Relationship Rescue," yet another new psychobabble book on the block and there's no comparison. Where McGraw gives you "men are this way, women are that way, deal with it," Delis offers real insights on what and how power imbalances occur and even points out that those in gender stereotyped relationships are actually prone to more problems! I'm divorced and have had my share of breakups -- this book nails every single one of my previous relationships. As one previous reviewer wrote, this should be mandatory reading in high school.
Bring this book back into print!
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
TO WED OR NOT TO WED-MUST READ
By pdc
Are you doubting a walk down the aisle? I was. I felt horrible because..after 2 years..I should know right? So, I purchased this book to dig and find out what is going on in my head and heart! What was wrong with me? Well, I did get some of the answers. What this book did was force me to be HONEST with myself. I felt as if someone UNDERSTOOD the feelings that have been going through my mind. My head said, you are crazy to walk away from this ..my heart said..you must not settle..he's not "the one". My head said but your 37 and want kids..he loves you. My heart said.. take a chance and the perfect one for you will show up. Look, this is not an easy read..this is tough stuff. If you are on the other side of this-you know for sure you want to marry but your partner is NOT SURE, this is an ABSOLUTE MUST READ. The book will HELP big time. But again, you must know this is not a "he's just not into you book"..this is compelling and gut wrenching and painful relationship REVIEW. I have cried reading it. I hope this helps. I have never written a review on AMAZON but I feel this subject is so important and I know others are going thru this too. Good luck.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Brilliant book
By Night Owl
In my library, I have about 400 books on psychology of relationships. I didn't expect this book to add much more to what I already had, or knew. Was I wrong!
This book is the best analysis of the self-defeating dynamics that destroy love relationships -- and delivered in such an accessible, well-written mannner that one cannot put it down. I stayed up two nights in a row reading it until 4 a.m., and wished I didn't have to go to sleep at all.
How I wish I came across this book a long time ago. As earlier reviewers stated, this should be required reading in high school (though this book is for all ages) -- it would save people so much heart-ache, depression, and divorces, if they understood ahead of time what undermines relationships between love partners.
The book is at its best when it descibes power imbalances that occur between people; it gets a little weaker later on when the authour tries to categorize people by giving them labels (e,g, "Loner", "Punisher", etc.) Real life can be a little more complicated than that (i.e., some people combine many characteristics, and are too complex to fit in just one category). But that didn't diminish my total admiration for this book.
I may get rid of some of my other books in the future to make room for new ones, but the Passion Trap will stay with me forever. I will be sharing it with my grandchildren if I have any...
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